Bad sports metaphor
As the transfer window closes I find myself sitting in the manager’s office, gold Montblanc in hand, staring down at the contract. Good money, top fixture list, decent facilities. I’m told I’ll be up front, regular first team action. The strip’s a bit dodgy but what the hell, I can learn to love denim. I am already familiar with the wide men, Dollimore and Harvie, and have heard good things about the back line of Alston and Soan. Never a fumble from the London based keeper and many a clean sheet logged by the Glasgow-born centre-half.
I hesitate for a moment, weighing up my options. On the one hand I’m happy where I am – a great bunch of lad – but on the other the temptation of the big league is alluring; the passionate crowds and the chance of famous European nights. In the end I think, fuck it, you only live twice. I sign my name and the manager grins expansively offering his hand across the shimmering blue ink rapidly being drunk by the paper. He shows me into an anteroom stocked to the ceiling with replica trophies – platinum, silver, gold – and talks tearfully of great victories, great glories from that golden age.
“We can have all this again, son,” he assures me.
“I’m forty-eight, Boss, no need to call me son” I say.
He puts his arm around my shoulder and looks me straight in the eye.
“OK, dickhead. Get your clobber on and go out there and play”.
39 Responses to “Bad sports metaphor”
What the what?? What The US needs now, more than ever is a Del Amitri reunion tour. It doesn’t seem right to be playing in places where I am not.
VA Loves you. VA needs you.
Justin. Thank you. My husband and I love your music and could listen to your voice all day long! Wish you could get to australia one of these days! If not we will come there. I have family in Glasgow (dad born and buried there) but not been yet and seeing you would be just the excuse we need! Keep on rockin!!!!! Fiona & Albert :)
I’ve been a fan for some time as you seem to write what’s in my head. Was at the recent Queens Hall Edinburgh solo gig and booked for Liverpool in Feb 2014. We actually met in Saint Denis ,Paris in ’98 where we shared a plate of chips from the bar in the corner of the square. (my chips) . Good luck with the tour.
Harrogate booked for the solo tour & Newcastle for the band gig…Starting to feel like a stalker (and I don’t mean that ex- Dep Chief Constable for Greater Manchester with the nice awnings- great word awning!). By the way, I speak with experience of ED…you’re only making it harder for yourself!!!
Please come to Australia…I was at the Palais in 1990 too Kim! Yes we get a petition started but given their advancing ages and associated nether region dysfunctions perhaps its too much to ask! Pfft… I’m the same age so not a valid excuse!
Das ist ja ein Ding! Gut für Dich, glaub’ ich …
not that i begrudge you…but £100.00 for two tickets for the skanky City hall in Newcastle ffs !! hope you are getting at least a few quid towards the pension plan .
My friend Charles has just described your sartorial style as “gay pikey ” it’s a compliment (apparently)
Can’t wait, for the tour that is, not erectile disfunction.
However if I ever do get erectile disfunction i could just take finalist off my name, and become almost a semi.
Interlude: Justin Currie | 100 Songs
Glad there’ll be some distraction from the lambchops this time Currie. If all tour suggestions aren’t met I will regard the concert at the empire to be a letdown. Play something acoustic. Include a donkey.
A wish come true….unfortunately out of reach for me! Seeing clearly your true intentions, Mr. Currie! …..the erectile dysfunction might be worse afterwards!!?? But, this might be a good source of inspiration for the following solo projects which I personally look forward to. Please…!, don’t leave it out of your sight! Seeing you in Berlin?
Stop blaming your manager .
Odd how the italicised, lower case ‘del’ instantly evokes the spirit of 1989. See you in Wolves.
Damn you and your timing, Currie. Barmouth in freezing February with a friendly band of drunks or Liverpool with a band of drunken friends? Oh, the dilemma.
Cd player once ate my copy of twisted. I tried to retrieve it using a pen and eventually a knife which let me till you is ill advised.
Anyway, great news about the reunion, I saw you earlier this year at Sale arts center and before that in Runcorn. I presume you will dusting off the leather chaps and growing the side burns for the upcoming dels tour.
I bet for the first few gigs you will feel like a total wanker trying to groove, like a dad at a wedding. But after the drugs have kicked in you won’t give a toss.
Will see you at the Apollo and hopefully in Liverpool.
Take care mate and well done
Any chance you could now get a record company to release the Del Amitri gig at Aberdeen Lemon Tree on DVD / Bluray. My VHS of it is copy protected and wont let me convert it to DVD
Will try to catch you in Harrogate and awaiting impending ticket purchase for Del Amitri on 27th January in Leeds.
Either way I’ll be on my f@cking own, wife won’t come with me, can’t believe she’s not a fan. Divorce on the cards.
The ‘No better location’ show would be great to have on DVD. As would the US tour EP video. I’ve got both on VHS, but no VHS player.
Also – a DVD of the 2014 tour would be nice. Talk to people about that and we’ll buy it.
Superbly ilumainlting data here, thanks!
yay…good news and when you tour hope you do some of your own solo stuff along with the Del Amitri songs,I be spolit then…..x
Outstanding news. I was only thinking the other day about what a great triple shot Waking Hours, Change Everything and Twisted is. Rubber Soul/Revolver/ Sgt Peppers. Beggars Banquet/Let it Bleed/Sticky Fingers. You get the drift…
How about a stop in the US? Or is that too much of a hassle, given your advanced ages?
Yehaaa, and i’m not the last to know.
Australia has to be part of the tour justin, your pasty face needs some sun.
cya in Melbourne hopefully
I’m from Melbourne too brocky and I totally agree with your comment. We should get a petition started. I saw the Dels in 1990 at the Palais Theatre and it was the best concert, I’m still recovering even after all these years. I’m keeping everything crossed, including my eyes (now there’s a challenge!) that Del Amitri will tour here again very soon.
This piece was cogent, wetriwl-lten, and pithy.
You’ve made another old man extremely chuffed with this news. JC 7th Sept 13 and now Del 6th Feb 14 Does this mean new Del stuff too?
SSE Hydro. Do you get a discount if you turn up with your lecky bill?
WHOO HOO! A Dublin date at long last. Thank you. (I danced around the kitchen when I heard).
I’d like to help with your erectile dysfunction……………. campaign
he he he!
Wouldn’t mind if you came to Stavanger, Norway :-)
That’s lovely. I would just like to beg you not to quit the solo stuff – I love Del Amitri, but I truly think what you’ve done on your own is even better.
I won’t, thanks Kurt.
Good to know – love your solo work too!
even better news!!!
i agree with you Kurt 100%
I’ve just made a comment on Facebook about this and I’ll say it here too. Justin, does this mean you will be drunk in a band again? The comeback of Del Amitri is brilliant news. :) Good luck with the erectile dysfuction campaign, I’ve heard little blue pills can work wonders.
Am mustering the menopausal cheerleaders, and dusting off my pom-poms.
That’s the spirit, Emily.