Her Majesty Salutes Hoy’s Band of Spacemen



In her tireless promotion of brand Britain, the Queen imparts her trademark enthusiasm.—More Motion-sickness

Guardian Tour Diary 1997


I wrote this piece for The Guardian in 1997 (I think) and received a fair amount of flak from US fans for its sneering tone. I can see their point but I was trying to be sympathetic to them while undermining the rock-star persona by being honest. I probably got it wrong, but it’s a document of its time so here it is in its original form before the G2 editors got their (rather capable) claws into it. 


One Week on the Wheel of Pain: How to Brownnose with Impunity


Monday, Arrival

You plane, you deplane. You’re a foreigner, a form-filler, you’re a hasn’t been who might be in the land of the wannabe. You have come here, willing and supine, ready to wear the promo smile for the people, to sing your song for the sake of the sell. Live on-air, live in-store, a week of grease on the week of release,…—More Tales