“Art is wrong. ”

An Introduction to Hell

Welcome to Hell. You can navigate from here to other, more private hells. You will find little in the way of further elucidation there but be my very special guest. In the torrential guff that is the internet you have arrived at a place that is uniquely neither informative nor entertaining, sickening nor aggravating, colourful nor classy, but one that is certainly very, very far from interesting. Feel free to move around within the confines of this dreadful place and when the agony of ennui begins to bite you can always return to Hell.

Sydney

We slip into Sydney in the damp darkness, dump our load and we’re out. Well, Mardi Gras has just finished…

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Goodbye, Christchurch

I can’t get a handle on Christchurch. There are old-time trams on freshly laid tracks. It looks like a…

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Auckland, NZ

The plane descends over what looks a heavy Tasman Sea into a thick bank of cloud covering the land…

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Show day, Melbourne

I have a stormy sleep and wait in the morning for an interview that never happens. I tap at…

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Melbourne

Heading out to St Kilda from the airport we hit our first traffic jam of the trip. We skirt…

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Show Day, Brisbane

I have an epic sleep – 2AM through to midday with only one stop for defuelling. I potter about…

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Day off, Brisbane

I have a patchy nap after the long morning of circadian chaos. At 1PM I make plans. I’ll head for…

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Adelaide to Brisbane

The jet zips up from the scorched runway into the limpid blue. We climb out over the St Vincent…

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Perth to Adelaide

After the second show I walk down to the river around midnight. A city of two million people and…

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Perth

We reunite at arrivals with our long lost colleague, Skip and are quickly at the hotel. It’s balmy out,…

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Doha to Perth

After a luxury repast I get horizontal for the rest of the flight. Having put my watch on WA…

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Heathrow to Doha

We re-lounge at Heathrow, surrounded by the snooty, the successful, and the sordid all wheeling their valuables around the…

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Glasgow to Heathrow

Long haul. The start goes smoothly. Guitars, packed two to a golf bag, are weighed and spirited away on…

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Munich

I sit in the back lounge listening to Sky and the Family Stone’s There’s a Riot Goin’ On until…

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Berlin

We all sleep fractiously after a late leave and a lot of stopping. I slouch off the mothership into…

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Copenhagen and Hamburg

I don’t sleep much after 2AM so read until 6 when I finally slip under. I charge off the…

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Stockholm

We’re late arriving after getting stuck at the Norway/Sweden border in the middle of the night due to a closed…

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Oslo

The bus brings us into town. This is not the Oslo I remember. It’s all gleaming towers in the…

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Cologne

Like yesterday the venue is nowhere near anywhere. I sniff the air outside the bus. Cool, overcast, intermittent cats…

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Stuttgart

This is all I saw of Stuttgart.

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Frankfurt

I peer out of the back lounge window. Dark clouds torn and tattered stir around the sky. Downstairs I…

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In Amsterdam

There’s a milky green canal two feet from the door of the bus. I edge tentatively along its edge…

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To Amsterdam

I’m sitting in my usual seat in Glasgow airport in a quiet corridor just beyond the scent and shades…

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In Ostend

I roll out of my air-con coffin around 1 after a long sleep broken by the odd rattling noise…

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To Ostend (We must go on)

The tour bus is waiting for us in a bay right outside Terminal 5. It’s a double-decker with a…

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To Guilford and Weyfest

Andy, Jim and I sit gossiping in a taxi, keen to be back at work, preparing ourselves…

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To Southampton (When Will Bingo Die?)

I’m to be limo driver this morning as the Glasgow taxi landscape has become increasingly unpredictable since the pandemic…

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Stirling

I was going to start this sentence with the word “so” but I caught myself just in time.…

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Belfast, 6th June 2020

Our propeller plane glides southwest down the Firth of Clyde to land with a gentle bump at George…

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To Durham

Just three of us sit in the little van taking us south from dreich Glasgow to (possibly) sunny Durham.…

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I sleep till one thirty and head out to meet a friend at the Hall of Fame.…

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Warrendale, PA

I’m sitting outside a pizza place situated at an oblique X-shaped intersection and gazing over heavy traffic to a…

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Summersville, WV

Burly workmen carry me from my station to a high wall where, in a horrifying initiation ceremony, they mount…

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Atlanta

We have a food poisoning casualty in the shape of Iain, who only barely makes it back on for…

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Carrboro, NC

I stir at sunrise and sit in the front lounge as the bus pulls into the leafy campus of…

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Virginia

Before we leave for Alexandria at 3AM we drop into the Red Lion opposite the gig where a five…

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New York, New Jersey

I cannot muster the enthusiasm to emerge from my cotton sheet cocoon until late afternoon. I make out for…

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Toronto and Philadelphia and Boston

The dreaded day off, day of the dead. I open the curtains of my room on the 16th floor…

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Milwaukee to St Paul

In Milwaukee I spend a few hours catching up with Bobby T, an original eighty-sixer and friend. We have…

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Salina, Kansas

I drop down from my bunk around 6AM, rosy-fingered dawn spreading across the plains. Gary the bus driver pulls…

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Denver

I have a rough night of it on the bus. Sleep will not swaddle me, it just claws me…

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To Salt Lake City

We’re off at 9AM to Utah and after a brief stint in my coffin I make bus coffee and…

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Day Off, Boise

BOY-see not BOY-zee says Wikipedia. Well, the streets are immaculately clean and everyone exudes that rural hospitality so typical…

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To Seattle and Vancouver and Portland

Today we drive by day for the first time and I stretch out on the leather upholstery of the…

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Berkley and Eugene

I drop down from my bunk around 10am. There’s a foul odour in the air. Gary, our trusty driver,…

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Back to LA

Back we come overnight from Phoenix to a sodden Hollywood for an early morning check-in prior to the…

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To Phoenix

After the Canyon Club show we say hi to some old friends in the parking lot before the…

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In LA

Good morning Hollywood. I crank up the window blind to a foggy scene right out of Chandler. There’s…

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To LA

The device chirrups at my ear and I click into staring consciousness. It’s 3:30AM. I scrape some marmalade…

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In Kirkwall

I draw back the heavy woollen curtains and sunlight streams in like honey. The harbour lies gleaming below my…

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To Orkney

Blue, blue as an egg, the sky says spring and my watch says go. I don my two small…

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To Southampton

We park up outside the front of the Guildhall and head to catering to discover our chef Sarah has…

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Day Off Birmingham

On arrival I chuck my stuff in the room and get out for a wander. I take the canal…

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To Dunoon and Oban

A few powder puff clouds hang in a limpid sky and a raptor sails over the first of the…

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In Inverness to Perth

In Inverness to Perth

After scran I take an amble through the twilight along the river Ness.…

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To Inverness

We angle northwest through Aberdeenshire’s rich pasture, autumn a little more advanced up here, patches of foliage coloured…

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To Aberdeen

We are debating when we might have played in the granite city last. I wager it was the Music…

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Sheffield to Newcastle

I sleep poorly therefore sleep in. But I have my packing honed to a military efficiency and…

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Day Off, Manchester

I wander off in early afternoon, sniffing out a few local recommendations. The first thing I do…

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Blackpool to York

In the early evening I walk south along the waterfront, the Welsh hills pale in the distance…

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To Nottingham and Blackpool

The milky light leaks around the hotel room window blinds and I toy with getting out for a stroll.…

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In Cardiff, to Southend

We head straight for the stage door, leaving hotel check-in for later. I scope out the venue and find…

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To Cardiff

We’re on a day trip to the outskirts of Wigan. Seven days of rehearsals done, we’re decamping south to…

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Queens Hall Days Two and Three

And off we set a second day, the weather still madly midsummer. We discuss some changes to the…

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Queens Hall Day One

Here’s a white van, glinting on my street, three rows of seats, side door open. We enter the…

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Promo Day 2, May 28th, 2021

PROMO DAY 2

To the bathroom, to the bag, to the cab to the radio. Virgin is…

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Promo Day 1, May 27 2021

Eebs arrives at the flat at 9am and we commence loading acoustic instruments into the vehicle, which closely…

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Black Hope

 

“I really don’t know if there is hope beyond the black hole; if there…

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Nairn

I’m driving northeast to Nairn, where I am appearing as an unannounced guest at their beer festival. It’s a pub…

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Edinburgh, St. Celia’s

I’m playing a “songwriter-in-the-round” charity event in Edinburgh with Ricky Ross, Karine Polwart and old friend Gary Clark. It’s taking…

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Changing server

We may lose contact soon.

 

Everything’s gonna be alright.

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London

So to London, choking snakepit of billionaires. Our abode is way uptown, a barren tower in a morass of roads…

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Brighton and Colchester

I’m sitting on the seafront basking in the sun. My bench has a plaque that reads: “FAY HARRIS 1921 -…

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To Preston and Nottingham

Bristol, goodbye. Not a cloud to be seen, October at its most beautiful and here we sit, strapped to our…

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To Bristol

We approach Bristol from
the south, passing black lakes of solar farms. Portishead lies out to the west, a few ships…

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To Exeter

We grab some scran on the way out of Cardiff and are soon cruising across the Severn bridge stuffing our…

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To Cardiff

Farewell Holiday Inn, sterile lodge on the edge of town. Today’s route takes us directly south along A-roads edging the…

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To Chester

We arrive at our hotel outside Chester in good time. There are a few hours of daylight left so I…

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To Norwich

We snake towards the motorway through Yorkstone villages, passing a vast estate. The aristocracy are everywhere, like rats or Nando’s.…

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To Wakefield

I make my own way back to the hotel after the Glee, amazed to find no restaurants open after 11…

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To Birmingham/ Day Off

The infernal chirruping of my phone alarm pokes me into resentful consciousness. It’s 11am but I could cruise the halls…

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To Newcastle

Suitcases packed in the back of the Grey Toupee, we build up to escape velocity. England is beckoning. We pick…

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To Edinburgh

I come to in my own bed, not yet fully on the road. I set the kettle on its plastic…

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To Manchester

As soon as we are on the road Mr. Nisbet christens our vehicle “The Grey Toupee” after a gentleman’s club…

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Day Off, Liverpool

Our hotel is a ’70s brown brick building refitted to resemble an art-deco ocean liner. So I went out roaming…

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To Liverpool 


White cumuli hang lazily in a milky blue sky as we angle up to Merseyside. Everywhere about us there must…

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To Wolverhampton

I investigate my face in the bathroom mirror, pink and pillowy like an eleven-year-old girl’s bedroom. I should put a…

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To Pocklington

I wake up in the dark cocoon of my 70s hotel and draw back the vinyl shades to reveal a…

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To Holmfirth

The lid of doom is clamped on the country and a porridge of grey prevails. Summer’s over, boys or maybe…

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To Perth

TO PERTH

 

Oh, shit – the sun is shining, shining down on all of bonny green Scotland. What does this portend?…

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Excitement

With the encroaching cynicism of middle age, episodes of excitement become increasingly rare. Perhaps a trip to some unvisited country…

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This Is My Kingdom Now out today on all capitalist tech outfits

This masterpiece of meh can be retrieved from here in physical form: https://justincurrie.tmstor.es/

And here in bits: http://apple.co/2naovtO

And from the tax…

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Tour with The Pallbearers announced for October/ November!!!!!!!

Tickets on sale 9:00am on Monday 15th May

 

See Parades for details.

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ANNOUNCEMENTS

I have had a “single”. It’s called Failing To See and it weighs a ton. Here’s a video featuring people…

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Separated at Perth?

Perth want me to punt this:

 

http://www.perthfestival.co.uk/event/justin-currie/

 

Consider it punted, Perth.

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Album release announced via satellite, telegraph, semaphore etc…

Good moaning. I take great pleasure today in announcing the pre-release (whatever the fuck that is) of This Is My…

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This Is My Kingdom Now

Link to high-budget video. Directed by Steven Seagull.

 

https://youtu.be/ab-jjL6fWo0

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Short UK jaunt announced

Just added some dates in May/June to support the forthcoming release of This Is My Kingdom Now on Endless Shipwreck…

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Leeds to London, November 16th-19th 2014

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After four nights in the same hotel in Leeds it’s refreshing to be back…

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Selby and Uppermill, November 12th-14th 2014

At last we escape the clutches of the country club with its therapy pool and veneer of hushed sympathy. I…

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Norwich, November 11th 2014

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Heave-ho, we head out of Bury, swinging round the sugar factory which belches white…

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Bexhill-on-Sea, November 8th 2014

By the time we hit Bexhill the warm southern wind is whipping off the channel in swiping gusts. We hear…

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To Liverpool, 7th November, 2014

We start at ten. The gear goes in the back, the boys go in the front and we get on…

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Phoenix to LA, LA to San Francisco, October 4th – 9th 2014

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We load into the van at eleven for the seven hour drive to LA,…

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El Paso to Phoenix, October 2nd & 3rd

Another morning, another fucking beautiful day, still in Texas. But not for long. The route out of El Paso hugs…

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Dallas to Austin and El Paso, TX, September 1st & 2nd 2014

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Texas is a different world, an unimaginable place in, say, Manhattan. It sits culturally…

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Dallas, TX, 30th September 2014

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In the afternoon of the show I hook up with old friends the Kresses…

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Minneapolis to Dallas, September 28th to 30th 2014

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We leave the Twin Cities early and are…

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Minneapolis, September 27th 2014

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We cross the Mississippi four times, once in, once out and twice in the…

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Chicago, September 25th 2014

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Why do we wave to people on boats? I’m sitting under a high sun…

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To Chicago, 24th September 2014

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We escape the clutches of the city early in the morning, all the heavy…

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To and From Philadelphia, September 22nd 2014

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We take a leisurely amble down the 95 to Philly and seem to drive…

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New York City, 21st September 2014

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Around lunchtime I take a walk over the Brooklyn Bridge dodging through the streams…

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To New York, September 20th 2014

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Onward up the eastern seaboard we go, the weather consistently glorious. Virginia, Maryland, Delaware,…

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To Vienna, VA, September 19th 2014

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I awake to the tragedy of my own people rejecting radical change to cling…

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To Pittsburgh, September 17th 2014

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We are out of Cleveland by 9am, pale blue skies above. There are three…

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To Cleveland, OH, September 15th 2014

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I am sorry to be leaving Nashville. After last night’s show a pleasant bevy…

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To Nashville, September 13th 2014

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We lift out through thin fog and reach over Islay’s inner seas, the island…

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Update USA

Hallo good people of USA. Here’s a quick update on the upcoming tour. It’s all up. For debate. Firstly I’m…

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Rotterdam to Cologne, January 6th 2014

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In the morning I peel back the flimsy curtain and glimpse the…

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Hull to Rotterdam, Jan 5th 2014

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I am standing at the stern of an enormous ferry staring out…

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Tracks of the Year 2013

Here are my tracks of the year, 2013:

Small Plane by Bill Callahan
Black Tambourine by Withered Hand
Avant Gardener by Courtney…

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Bob Harris session, London, December 9th & 10th

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I come burning out of the JPR Management Christmas party in a…

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Monday 4th of November, 2013

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Being the dick that I am, I pride myself on passing pointless…

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I NEED YOUR HELP

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WOMEN!!
WOMEN WANTED IN GLASGOW FOR VIDEO SHOOT!!!

Women, I need your help. Next…

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September 20th 2013

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I am again suspended in the air on a fourteenth floor looking…

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September 17th – 19th 2013

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Everyone’s face is crippled with displeasure. The slanting rain and the callous…

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September 14th 2013

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And we’re off to Harrogate with two hangovers in the van. Long…

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12th September 2013

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The fair city of Edinburgh is warm in the morning and I…

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11th September, 2013

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Come morning I’m back out on the balcony again, sunning myself like…

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Brighton, September 9th 2013

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We haul out of Cambridge through desultory drips of rain. I have…

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Cambridge, September 8th

The broken white lines stream towards me like tracer fire, England in early autumn slides past the van’s windows all…

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Bad sports metaphor

As the transfer window closes I find myself sitting in the manager’s office, gold Montblanc in hand, staring down at…

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LOL

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Lolling in bed.

LOL

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Good morning, Fuckers

Out today like a goddamn plague, like a mass escape from the asylum.

Amazon: http://amzn.to/178Q3Tk
iTunes: http://smarturl.it/lowerreaches

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This is my ass

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I’ll be selling my ass on Thursday at HMV, Buchanan Street in…

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Wogan with a guitar

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On with Tezza, 11am Radio 2, Sunday 18th singing live with Stu

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Back to Gatwick

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After an arduous soundcheck trying to fit eleven lines into…

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French village

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I wake up in a pleasant little hotel in a sleepy village…

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To Gatwick and beyond

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My cabbie offers me a pellet of chewing gum, perhaps reacting to the reek…

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Whoring Alert

For I shall be a-whoring, next Thursday the 22nd at HMV, Buchanan St, Glasgow. Singing and signing on the week…

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Hitler Youth watches Coronation Street

Member of Hitler Youth watching Coronation Street during half-time of Celtic game.

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Little Stars

Download this for free now at http://justincurrie.com/little-stars-download
New album Lower Reaches released 19th August. Pre-order it and a signed lyric…

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